


Sounds Fishy

by theleaveswant



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fish People, Gen, Hotels, Lies, Post-Avengers (2012), Sneaking Out, Texts From Last Night, fake emergencies, fancy parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 14:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1691309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theleaveswant/pseuds/theleaveswant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Right, yes.” Tony nods. “But y'see there's been this, um, catastrophe. In the ocean. That needs superheroing.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sounds Fishy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jenna_thorn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenna_thorn/gifts).



> From a Texts From Last Night prompt: "'I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish' feels like a James Rhodes / War Machine line to me".

_There's got to be some way out of here,_ James thinks as he fidgets with his sleeve cuffs and wishes for a poison tooth. If he has to smile and nod his way through one more Vanderbilt-Rockefeller telling him which of their many vacation homes they were in when they heard about the Midtown Invasion there's going to be blood on the carpet, and that wouldn't be very fair to the already underpaid hotel staff who'd have to clean it up. “Excuse me,” he says, maybe a little too enthusiastically, when he catches sight of Tony creeping towards one of the ballroom's less ostentatious exits. He hands his untouched champagne flute to Pearls and Fur Stole #3 and hastens through the crowd towards him. “Where the hell do you think you're going?”

“Criminy!” Tony jumps and turns to find James behind him with his arms crossed and his brow furrowed. He straightens his spine and the lapels of his tuxedo jacket. “I knew Hill would be a bad influence on you, you never used to move that quietly.”

“You agreed to this,” James reminds him. “You promised Pepper that you'd stay at least two hours.”

“Right, yes.” Tony nods. “But y'see there's been this, um, catastrophe. In the ocean. That needs superheroing.”

“Bullshit!”

“No, seriously. Bruce just called me. There's fish people and tentacles, just a huge, smelly mess, and I've got to get there as soon as possible.” He spreads his hands and walks backwards through the open door, so James rolls his eyes and follows him. 

“Then I'm going with you.”

“Ah, see, no.” Tony shakes a finger at him as he turns back around and heads towards the elevators. “The War Machine armor's not designed to function in deep water, it's too much pressure. You'd be crushed like a beer can on a frat boy's head.”

“You can't leave me here alone with these people, Tony. You know half of them keep double-taking when they realize I'm not banquet staff.”

“Yeah, that . . . really sucks.” Tony's mouth twists up as he digests what James has just said. “Sorry. But it'll look suspicious if we all go.”

“Go save the world from fish people.” James' eyes narrow. “That'll look suspicious.”

“ . . . Yup.”

Tony darts into the first empty elevator and tries to punch for the parking garage but James gets there first, slapping his hand against the top of the button panel before pulling it back to cover the door's pressure sensor. Tony sighs and steps back into the lobby, leaving the elevator to make a lonely journey up towards the penthouse suite. He goes back to the call buttons and sets his thumb firmly to 'down'.

James shakes his head. “Fine, leave me here. I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.”

“Hey, that could actually happen!” Tony says. “Do you really want those to be the last words you ever say to me?”

James shrugs and starts walking back towards the reception. He makes it about three yards before Tony sighs gustily.

“All right, fine,” he says and throws his hands up towards the ceiling. “I'm meeting Robin Hood and Maid Mata Hari in the garage and we're going for tacos. Happy now?”

“I am if you take me with you,” James says as the next elevator chimes its arrival. Tony smiles wryly and beckons him inside.


End file.
